No going back now

I have been saying since my hair came in (first white, now a mix of gray, silver and black) that I was done with coloring. It is what it is. After nearly a year of harsh chemicals flooding my body, radiation and a five year commitment to Tamoxifen and all of it’s lovely accompanying side effects, I’m just not feeling the urge to slather smelly color on my head every 4-6 weeks. For that matter, I’m not going back to many of the products I’ve used in the past.  During radiation I started using Tom’s natural deodorant.  Once you get used to not smelling like a meadow at sunset or a tropical beach it’s not so bad. If it’s safe to use during radiation, I’m good. I am slowly cleaning out my environment as well as what goes into and on my body. Will it prevent a recurrence?  No idea. Did I get cancer because of my dying my hair and using deodorants with aluminum and parabens? No idea.  I’m even cutting back *gasp* on alcohol.  Okay.. that’s not that hard. I drank very little through the months of treatment and after an emotional week around my sister’s birthday when we had several evenings out, averaging about 2 drinks a day,  I really felt kind of sick by the end of the week. I don’t have to be hit over the head with a swizzle stick to know why. I’ve given up diet soda and my caffeine intake is pretty minimal.  My diet was pretty good otherwise, lots of fruits, vegetables, grains and protein but there is a lot of room for improvement (always).

Oh yeah.. back to my hair and the reason for this post.. the reason there is no turning back now is my license is due for renewal this week. Yeah.. I get to have my picture taken at the DMV while just getting my hair back after chemo.  That’s gonna be a whole lot of forehead.  DMV photos are so lovely to begin with. This should be good. I could renew on line but I haven’t looked like my last photo (2006) in a while and never will again. My hair is long and black. I was about 25 lbs heavier. Anyway, feel sorry for the clerk, I will have no shame in playing the cancer card to get her to take my picture over (and over if need be) if it’s as bad as I anticipate. Wish me the DMV luck.

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