Last week I jumped on the 15 Random Things About Me blogwagon. That was fun and I learned some things about many of the bloggers I follow. Hence the blatant theft of the idea/title.
Today I had a light bulb moment when I was put out with someone and thought darkly “Don’t you KNOW I have a blog?” I may or may not have offered him some free social media publicity if things were not resolved in my favor. I thought it was just possible having a blog was making me kind of …. well… an asshole.
About a month ago I was in a snit because someone who should have been the mature person in the conversation, ie. not me, because he held a position of authority out sarcasmed me. How DARE you, sir? Keep it up and you’ll be in the next blog.
I have blogged about things that bother me with little regard to the person I’m raking over the coals, though I do thinly disguise their identity.
I have taken Walmart, the Susan Komen Foundation, the clerk at the monument store, my doctors and the hospital where I was treated to task just to name a few. With the exception of Walmart, I never would have said all the things I did in person, given the chance. It’s easy to hide behind a computer screen (and be an asshole).
I know that’s not 15 things and if you are keeping count, who’s the asshole now?
On a more serious note, two weeks or so ago I had a moment of feeling sorry for myself at the tail end of a block of time I like to refer to as my personal 6 weeks of helliversary.. June 1 through July 10. The blog post was entitled “My Reality” . I unlinked the post from FB. I didn’t want my family and friends reading it and feeling guilty. I just really needed to vent. A good friend did read it (honestly..I was shocked.. I thought family/friends only read this blog when I shoved it down their throats on FB) and commented in a private group. I got a lot of support and several supportive comments here on the blog as well. But after a good night sleep I felt really uncomfortable. I realized if I didn’t want the people I loved reading it, I shouldn’t be putting it out there so I deleted it. I do want to acknowledge the bloggers that offered support. I read your words and you made me cry. Nice job 😉
How has writing a blog changed how you present yourself to the world? Does knowing anyone can read your words make you choose them more carefully or do you care if you offend? Do you feel a responsibility to your readers to be authentic even if that means being an asshole occasionally?
mainelyhopeful 
I don’t have a blog but I do publish a biweekly email to my customers to whom I sell veggies. I find that I’ve softened up over time since I feel like my customers are getting to know me after all this time. I like being myself but of course I have to be positive even when I don’t want to. It’s a business! But I am tempted sometimes… re: your last post, I did read it and felt helpless to offer any comfort or words of advice since I have not experienced overwhelming loss like yours to that degree. I am very relieved you got the support you deserve. You don’t even know me but I do read your posts. I enjoy your writing! All the best, Tina LaVerdiere, old friend of Hanka’s
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Susan, I think you have to do what is right for you. I have indulged in a few posts as such and the plague came down upon me from a few sensitive individuals who took the blog to be about them and not as I intended, about ME! I think everyone who reads a blog can see themselves in it when we write about family etc. It’s a shame but sometimes as bloggers we need someone to read what we are feeling and the words that we find difficult to utter. The blogosphere has been a caring group to me overall and I have found much compassion here. On the flip side, the readers who know me personally at times have had much to say about what I have written and have misinterpreted my words for their own advantages. It’s hard when that happens, but instead I simply ask what they deduced from my post and it’s never what I was writing about ~ and so I’ve been able to soothe many a ruffled feather. But it’s in being peaceful myself that i am able to accomplish this because otherwise, I’d have lost connections with people whom I care about but who believe that they are justified in how they interpret my words by their minds.
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I wonder at times who reads my blog because I shove it down people’s throats most times (😂 I have a Tshirt with it on the back!) but I’m ALWAYS authentic because it’s mine. I have to be. I owe that to myself. Heck I shared it with PT but who knows if he even read it. I’m still writing about it because it’s my story. No filter. Period. 😉👍🏻
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I make fun of things aon my blog all the time. Mostly politicians. Would I do that if my full identity were attached? Probably. I only keep annomous because I write about gun control and don’t want to get shot.
And my family reads it just often enough that I can’t vent. Bad news.
Still, you’re right:
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I just saw this 😀
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Glad you liked it! It often runs through my head.
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Susan, I have not been on my blog for quite a while. I started it as a journey for my cancer and when it was over I did not feel the need. However there have been times that I wish I had not vented the way that I did. People I care about did get hurt. Now I cannot repair that because my dear husband died of a heart attack in March. I have started a private blog that I named Dear Paul, and I write to him almost every day. It helps me a little bit but I am still feeling mounds of guilt. When I read what you had to say I felt it so much. Seeing happy couples everywhere is very hard to take, my being denied such pleasure. Maybe in time I will get over it but right now I am still in the guilt ridden angry at life phase, and yes, I feel alone in this. Your blog helped me a lot. Thank you.
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I’m so sorry you are going through this. xxoo
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I definitely watch what I say in my blog. There were many times I want d to write about emotional struggles, challenges at work, etc. but I knew there would be fallout if I did. So I wrote it in my head, but never published. I think it might have helped me sinc I have strong support from my readers but I didn’t want to make any family situations worse. Even with be careful, though, I published an innocent article about my husband’s hoarding and managed to offend one of my stepdaughters. We were able to discuss and put it behind us, but in the end, you can never really know how something will be interpreted by a reader. I know I always love reading your posts, even those that are darker in nature. They are always so well written. And given what you’ve been through, I think you’re entitled to express yourself. Peace and hugs!
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Thanks for this thought provoking post. I’ve been considering some of these questions. Mostly tho’, my blog is the place where I can be my most authentic.
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