Anniversaries

anniversaries

 

June 1st would have been my 33rd wedding anniversary and June 6 was the 5 year anniversary of his death.   5 years.  It doesn’t seem possible. It’s a blink and a lifetime. In 5 years I have found new employment, made new friendships and rediscovered old friends.  I have had to take on a bigger role in family members’ care – took a crash course or two to that end. Have proudly watched both of my daughters buy their first homes – completely on their own.  We recently visited my nephew in London where he is following his dreams and making his mama proud.

I am slowly building a life of my own and no longer feeling guilt for enjoying it. I’m getting closer to making a decision about my home.  I trust that when the time is right the decision will make itself.

Last year I had to say goodbye to the world’s worse dog and I miss him terribly.  He lived almost three years to the day from the time I wrote about his  cancer.  Comet  And it was a good three years.

Speaking of cancer and anniversaries, I am still cancer free and only have to see the oncologist once a year.  Still on medication for another ?8 years and probably longer since they keep moving the goal posts.  My diagnosis was 6 years ago and end of (the tough) treatment 5 years.  There’s that number again.   I’d play the lottery but I used up all my luck in high school.

Whenever I’m absent from the blog for any length of time I feel guilty for not keeping up with all of the wonderful bloggers I follow.   I’m going to sign off for now and do some catching up. I hope I find you all well .hugs_drib_cindysuen

 

 

 

 

 

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Why I’m the better man than you.

And “you” know who you are. I’ve known you since I was 18, my husband since he was 5. You were in my wedding. We have many friends in common. When my husband died I heard nothing from you. Nada. Nor did his children, the oldest, btw, who you knew since birth. You were still stinging, apparently, from a class reunion during which he mentioned your high school nickname. A nickname that everyone knew. He may have gone overboard with a riff worthy of Robin Williams – may he rest in peace – (and believe me, he heard about it when we got home), but you and I both know he didn’t have a mean bone in his body. He was mortified that you were hurt and tried over and over to make amends. You, on the other hand, have always been on the spiteful side. As anyone who has ever worked for or dated you can attest.

A few months ago I was helping my good friend with her catering business and I happened to work the Chamber luncheon. You walked in, took one look at me, and walked away. I was the invisible help. Whatever.

Tonight you tried to ignore me again and it worked until you were on your way past us a second time and my mom spoke up. You couldn’t ignore her. Then, you looked me in the face, feigned surprise and said “oh yeah. Sue”. Really? wtf was that? oh yeah? STILL not a mention of my loss, no inquiry of the children, my mother in law? me? You did see fit to share that you are “happy” and “actually had a good round of golf today”, to which I did not reply “fuck you”. So. I am the better man.

All quiet on the Eastern front.

Haven’t had anything to really blog about.  Life feels nearly “normal” right now. Working on taxes, enjoying some nice weather (even hung out laundry for the first time this season – really.. it’s the little things) .   And in typical Maine fashion the day after it was nice enough to hang laundry it snowed!   The ground is once again white but in March that’s what’s known as sugar snow. The sap will really start to flow now.  We enjoyed a night out with friends over the weekend and spent some time with our girls on Sunday.  Last night I had a glass of wine  and watched the drama on American Idol (total guilty pleasure.. AI and the Voice!)  Though I haven’t had much to say I have continued to check in a few times a day and read. Some of the blogs have brought a smile, some have been informational and one nearly broke my heart.  It’s funny how fast I have become attached to a group of ladies I will probably never meet and I wouldn’t dream of not checking in regularly to see what they are up to, how their latest tests have come out and what’s next for them.   I guess it shouldn’t surprise me… I have forged other cyber friendships over the years…  but it always does.  Keep blogging ladies.  Even if I don’t always comment I’m listening.

Monday’s musings and meanderings

Made it through the haze once again.  Each treatment of AC has been so different as far as side effects that I never really got a handle on how I would feel on any given day, though I thought I faked it pretty well (humor me). This weekend wasn’t great. Wasn’t horrible. It just was.  So now I’m done with the “big guns” as far as chemo and have the next two glorious weeks ahead of me before I learn what round 2 will be like.   Today I have big plans that include minimal housework, a real dinner (cooked by moi) and not spending any time at all on the couch or recliner where I basically took root all weekend.  I should tackle the taxes but I don’t wanna.  And no one can make me :). Not today anyway.  Tomorrow I’m outta here, even if all I manage is a trip to the post office and grocery store, but for today I’m content to be upright. I got lots of Daisy love over the weekend and have to share. Thanks girls ❤