Good News, Bad News

The good news? Self inflicted carpal tunnel is not a reason to stop chemo early.  The bad news?  I have no excuse to stop chemo early. Ha!  Actually I told my oncologist that I wanted to continue after coming this far and she agreed.  My numbers were looking good and my hemoglobin is on the rise and I’m already feeling it. I have no idea how low it got because each week I’m told my numbers look good. I assumed that meant I was some kind of hemotologic savant, but apparently all it means is they haven’t bottomed out yet so lets see how sick we can make this chick before she cries uncle.  I will assume my all time low was week six. That was the first time I really felt the full effects of all of this. Week seven (last week) was much better with only one bad day physically and one day when I was doing an internal one woman rendition of Camille Image.all day. It was all very dramatic and silly.   Sunday and Monday were really good days. I visited with family, got a lot accomplished at home, did errands and bought some beautiful plants to start working outside as soon as I can.  Next weekend we have two daughters graduating and grad school!, Mother’s Day to celebrate and lots of family time. I’m determined this will be a good week and I will have plenty of energy to enjoy the weekend (by that I mean I plan to spend the next few days doing as little as possible so I can fully enjoy the festivities on the weekend).

Only 4 more treatments left. I had my favorite oncology nurse in the lab today.  She took my port virginity so we have a special bond. Actually they are all pretty great. Except for that one redhead whom I have never seen again. She must have been filling in or was fired after stabbing me in the chest accidentally sticking the needle in some part of my anatomy other than the large bullseye with all the scarring from previous needle sticks. Honestly, I can see how that could happen. If you were blind.  After she offered to try again and I said “oh hell no! Sorry, you need to get someone else, you only get one shot to kill me“. She brought in a supervisor who slipped the needle in effortlessly. Before she did she asked if the skin was still numb from the spray they use. I said “Not as numb as that one”. We all laughed uncomfortably and I made a mental note that it’s probably not a good idea to insult people whose job it is to stick large needles in your chest.  I’m usually pretty good about keeping my internal running monologue to myself but sometimes my filter slips. And sometimes I only pretend it slips.  That chemo brain has to come in handy for something.

Off to watch the voice and root for my girl, Juliette!  Image




  1. Denise · May 9, 2012

    Boy do I understand the “no filter”. Chemo took all my filters away. I say stuff I would have never said pre-BC!! I was telling my Chemo Nurse about it. She said blame it on the steroids as they cause severe mood swings. I liked that because I blame everything on the steroids that I don’t blame on the Chemo. Keep up the good work! You can finish this! I have ONE MORE TO GO! Never thought that day would arrive!


    • mainelyhopeful · May 9, 2012

      One more! Woot!! That’s great. You must celebrate. I cannot wait until I have my port removed and onto radiation. This will definitely not go down as the best year of my life, but better than the alternative 😉


  2. bgillen · May 9, 2012

    Sending healing light your way. Enjoy your weekend. Rest when you can. Congrats on the double graduation. WTG mom.


  3. Tracey · May 16, 2012

    I’ve nominated you for the Beautiful Blogger award, darlin’! Info here:


  4. Julie · May 18, 2012

    Found your blog from your comment of Denis4Health’s blog. I love how honest you are. Just started my 4 rounds of taxol 3 days ago. Just starting to feel some muscle and bone pains. Did this get worse for you with each treatment? Also, does it just come during the week of treatment?


    • mainelyhopeful · May 18, 2012

      Hi Julie. I am having Taxol over 12 weekly treatments and the side effects have been very mild. I did have a week or two (around weeks 5 and 6) where it all seemed to catch up to me and I was exhausted and achy, but by week 7 I was already feeling better and have since. I just finished week 9. I did AC in 4 rounds and that was much harder as far as side effects, but it was also two drugs. Everyone is different and I hope you are one of the lucky ones and have an easy go of it. Best to you.


  5. sherrysf · May 20, 2012

    I have got to visit you more often. You are funny even in the eye of the storm~ Hope you had a good Mother’s Day…will keep sending you healing energy, love and light!


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