How to (re)train your brain

Are you suffering from chemo brain, age related dementia, permanent brain damage from doing this   during presidential debates?  Is your give a shit broken and you just can’t seem to learn new things?  Well, have I got a deal for you!  A FREE website to retrain your brain. Just sign up and play a few games especially selected for you  http://www.lumosity.com   And by free I mean you can play for 5 minutes but in order to unlock the full glory of your brain it’s gonna cost you.

Yeah, so I signed up last night thinking it was just another free game site (like I need another time suck) and (I kid you not) when I tried to sign in today I could not remember my user name and password. Phew! I found this site just in the nick of time apparently!  Just signed up again and after answering a bunch of questions was  given 3 games to play.  After scoring, apparently there is an 87 percent chance I can improve based on my age and awesome skills.   For you math geniuses that means there is a 13 percent chance of me forgetting my user information again or deciding my broken give a shit is not on the short list for repair. I’m good with being in the minority.