I wonder who else isn’t reading my blog

I already know which of my offspring doesn’t and have stored that information along with my Christmas shopping list and will revision. I know my doctors don’t because none have dropped me from their practice and/or apologized for prompting me to complain in what was going to be a positive blog about journeying through breast cancer.   My husband would probably read it more often if I added some obscure music facts and/or video.  Yesterday I found out someone else hasn’t been keeping up with me. Paula Young Wigs. I got an email asking why I hadn’t made a purchase in a while and offering me incentive to come back.  I immediately started to fire off a reply that I no longer needed a wig because my hair had made a triumphant return!  Luckily before I hit send I realized the people at Paula Young not only don’t care why I needed a wig to begin with, but would be even less interested in why I don’t.  Then I started wigging out (see what I did there?) about the so called quality of these wigs if they expected me to have replaced them already.   I mean, I had one freebie from the ACS and bought two myself so I would have some variety. How many wigs does the average wig wearer own and how often do they need replacement?  If I sold wigs I would sell them in days of the week packs like the panties we used to get as kids.  I’m telling ya, nothing could screw up your day more than wearing Thursday’s underwear on Monday.  Maybe that’s not such a good idea after all.  Women who are wearing wigs because they’ve lost their hair to chemo or other medical conditions have enough stress.

Back to the panties for a second.. I always figured they were a good idea for kids.. reminds them to change every day.  Now I see they make them for adults too and I’m entertaining myself with possible reasons why.  If my underwear say Monday I am supposed to be at the office….

Oh! They also have them for men. Now that’s probably a good idea.

Today is perfect kite flying weather


Or as I nearly found out.. wig flying weather!    I often joke about my wig flying off on a windy day but today was the first time it was a real possibility! The weather has been unseasonably warm the last couple of days, in the high 80’s. Too warm for March!  Today is a more seasonable.. 65 with bright sunshine and high winds.  Love it!  Windows wide open and cool air blowing winter and all of it’s accompanying germs right out of here!   On the cancer front, it’s too soon to have a handle on the Taxol effects.  With AC I kind of gave myself the better part of a week to rest up and had 2 good weeks each round.  My taste buds would be out of whack for the first week too, but again.. I had two good weeks.  I was hoping I would only have one down day with the smaller, weekly dose of Taxol.  I was able to rest Wednesday and felt pretty good, just a little tired.  Started out with lots of energy yesterday but by noon was dragging, achy, sweaty and nauseous.   The hot wind blowing through the house didn’t help, it just felt strange and unsettling. Today’s colder air feels awesome. It’s actually invigorating.   My taste buds are seriously impaired right now and my mouth is super dry.  Lunch out and a shopping trip left me feeling nauseous and exhausted.  I hate taking anti nausea meds.. they knock me out.. so instead I’m sipping on cancer causing caramel colored soda and it’s helping.  Go figure.  I’ll be venturing out into the wind soon to see if any of my laundry remains on the line or if it ended up on the neighbor’s roof.    I’ll leave my wig in here where it’s safe.

My wig is choking me!

Had breakfast with a friend today who I hadn’t seen since before my diagnosis.  We’ve spoken often, just not face to face.  I wore a new wig for the first time and omg.. I wanted to snatch it off my head the whole time. This is where I should mention that I have a perfectly lovely wig that was given to me free of charge through the American Cancer Society. It was fit when I had a full head of hair and I loved it so much that I went to the site of the maker of it and ordered a second one in a different, shorter style.  I have worn the free one twice and the new one one time.   Btw.. the American Cancer Society also sponsors the Look Good Feel Better workshop that I will be attending on Monday.  I will probably not be wearing a wig to that.

So anyway, my friend said the wig looked great. Very natural. So why did I feel like some animal had landed on my head and nested?  I visited with my mom for a while and the first thing I did was take it off. I reluctantly put it back on when I made a trip to the grocery store.    When I was cashing out a woman I have known for probably 25 years said “I love your hair!” *snort*  and came over to touch it (who does that?).    I just said “thank you” and wondered to myself what she would say if I blurted out it was a wig.  After I loaded up my bags I got in my car and immediately took it off and put on a soft cap I had with me.  It never occurred to me that someone might see me and I don’t really care if anyone did.  So why can’t I bring myself to leave the house without it, other than for medical appointments? Should I really care about other people’s discomfort if I look like a cancer patient?  Something to ponder.

Snatched bald

Literally.  So disregard my previous post about screwing with their stats by keeping my hair. Chemo won this round.  After yet another night of feeling the pillow and my head fairly obsessively I decided to vigorously brush to help things along.  I got an impressive amount of hair but now my scalp felt tender. So I started “gently” pulling out handfuls.  Yikes..now I looked like a plucked chicken.  I considered leaving the down as cushioning under my wig, but I needed to even things off. After a quick trim I thought what the hell and took the electric razor to it.  The good news is my head is not horribly misshapen like I have long suspected.  The stubble is minimal and I read a lint roller can take care of that.  I am rocking the Sinead O’Connor!

Looking ahead to spring though.. after this round of chemo I start another that will mean weekly treatments, so basically no recovery time in between. I was thinking at least I can sit out on my deck with a book or putter in the garden when I feel up to it. But no.. with this one (Taxol) I need to stay out of the sun. Completely. Lovely.  After a winter in Maine I’m white. Blindingly so. I am also now bald. Spring 2012 will find me rocking the Powder. Anyone know where I can get some blue shades?