My wig is choking me!

Had breakfast with a friend today who I hadn’t seen since before my diagnosis.  We’ve spoken often, just not face to face.  I wore a new wig for the first time and omg.. I wanted to snatch it off my head the whole time. This is where I should mention that I have a perfectly lovely wig that was given to me free of charge through the American Cancer Society. It was fit when I had a full head of hair and I loved it so much that I went to the site of the maker of it and ordered a second one in a different, shorter style.  I have worn the free one twice and the new one one time.   Btw.. the American Cancer Society also sponsors the Look Good Feel Better workshop that I will be attending on Monday.  I will probably not be wearing a wig to that.

So anyway, my friend said the wig looked great. Very natural. So why did I feel like some animal had landed on my head and nested?  I visited with my mom for a while and the first thing I did was take it off. I reluctantly put it back on when I made a trip to the grocery store.    When I was cashing out a woman I have known for probably 25 years said “I love your hair!” *snort*  and came over to touch it (who does that?).    I just said “thank you” and wondered to myself what she would say if I blurted out it was a wig.  After I loaded up my bags I got in my car and immediately took it off and put on a soft cap I had with me.  It never occurred to me that someone might see me and I don’t really care if anyone did.  So why can’t I bring myself to leave the house without it, other than for medical appointments? Should I really care about other people’s discomfort if I look like a cancer patient?  Something to ponder.

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20 comments

  1. Misifusa · January 25, 2012

    It gets easier with the wig…as you get more comfortable with it, you will find amusement in people’s reactions. Once you are comfortable with wearing/not wearing it, you will do what is best for you.
    Look Good Feel Better is a great program ~ I did it as well and learned how to draw on my eyebrows w/o looking like a clown (major plus!)
    I would wear my wig to the program so that you can see how your makeup looks when you are wearing your wig ~ you want your eyebrows to be at the right place in your face. 😉
    I am thinking of you!
    HUGS!

    Like

    • mainelyhopeful · January 25, 2012

      Strangely enough I still have my eyebrows and they look very well groomed for once! They are thinning in all the right places 🙂 I’ve been practicing drawing them on while they are still there.

      Like

      • Misifusa · January 27, 2012

        Good for you! Keep drawing so you’ll be perfect! Perhaps you’ll never lose them! 🙂

        Like

  2. Susan · January 25, 2012

    I have only worn my wig once, I found it way too hot! I do not go out without a hat of some kind though. Have decided to post a picture on my blog without anything on my head, maybe that will make me feel more comfortable too.

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    • mainelyhopeful · January 26, 2012

      Susan, I saw the picture and you look really good 🙂 You are far braver than I!

      Like

  3. Kendra · January 26, 2012

    I wore my wig two days this week–it feels so weird! I’m pretty sure it was squeezing my brain out of my head. It was raining today though and I didn’t know about wig protocol in the rain, so I wore a head scarf to work. It felt so much better!

    Like

    • mainelyhopeful · January 26, 2012

      I get a headache after an hour, I can’t even imagine wearing it for a full work day! I don’t think rain would be a problem. You can take it off and give it a good shake 😉

      Like

      • Misifusa · January 27, 2012

        As long as it’s a synthetic wig, you can just shake it and not have to worry about restyling! 🙂

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  4. Herdy · January 26, 2012

    I went shopping for hair the other day….hands down the most surreal experience I’ve ever had! I’m not a vain person….more bothered about comfort than good looks….but I do care about all the stares. I think with a wig, we can cling on to a pretence of normality for as long as possible. But I don’t really know, just guessing. My treatment starts on 13th Feb so have all of this to come. I hope I can be as brave as all you ladies have been. Love to you all xx

    Like

    • mainelyhopeful · January 26, 2012

      Everyone is different, Herdy, but for me the reality was far less upsetting than the anticipation. It was a relief to be done with it and put the dread behind me. You are already brave.

      Like

    • Misifusa · January 27, 2012

      Herdy you are brave! You can do this! 🙂

      Like

  5. Cindy's Cancers · January 26, 2012

    I remember the last time I had chemo I did have three very different wigs and I wore them to school everyday but I didn’t like em at all. They were really uncomfortable and I think if I lose my hair again anytime soon I would probably just wear a hat or a scarf because they’re so much more comfortable. Getting the “Oh, she has cancer” look can be very frustrating and it always makes me feel worse to have people sraring at me. Have you seen the hats that have just a little bit of hair showing out from the edge of the hat? I wonder if they’re cofmy.
    cin

    Like

    • mainelyhopeful · January 26, 2012

      I have heard that you can have those made with some of your own hair. They do look cute!

      Like

  6. bethanyparks · January 27, 2012

    I had four different color wigs, thirty six scarves and a big attitude that screamed, “Go bald. Show people what cancer REALLY looks like. Be rigorously honest. Let them be uncomfortable. There is no shame in this. Just the opportunity to be a power of example.” SO- depending on the day, the weather and/or my outfit I would either be blonde, brunette, or bald with color forms plastered on the side of my head.

    I hated the itch of wigs and the paranoia associated with strong winds.

    All my love to you – my cancer sisters.

    Like

  7. Thea Hackley · January 27, 2012

    Outstanding story once again! I am looking forward for your next post=)

    Like

  8. Carina · January 27, 2012

    Do you wear a liner and or a gel band under a wig? I am waiting for mine I ordered online. I still have a full head of hair but getting ready for hair loss. What kind of wig do you have? Monofilament? Lace?

    Like

    • mainelyhopeful · January 27, 2012

      I do wear a liner. I believe it’s monofilament (this is what the site says Kanekalon® WhisperLite® fiber). I think I just need to wear it a few hours a day at home to get used to it. I work here at home and have only worn it when I go out which isn’t that often lately! When I go to the cancer center or to visit family/friends I just wear a pretty scarf. Btw..when you do lose your hair your scalp is tender and that makes the wig uncomfortable even with a lining for a bit.

      Like

  9. eddiesandcurrents · January 27, 2012

    It’s interesting how each of us approaches this differently. I knew I didn’t want a wig – too hot here in Georgia, even in the winter. And hats can be too hot, too. I’ve gone bald in a variety of places and haven’t worried about what people think. I was afraid to be bald at first, but I soon got over that. I actually like being able to take off a hat when I have a hot flash or get hot from activity. It’s a quick cool-down when you’re bald. My surprise is that my hair has already started to grow back. I lost it during the AC treatment in the fall, and it started growing back this month while I’m on Taxotere. It was brown with some gray before AC and is coming in almost completely white. Which I kind of like.

    Like

    • mainelyhopeful · January 27, 2012

      I’m in Maine and I’m pretty sure I would die of frostbite if I left the house completely bald. Plus, I’m a big chicken! I think white hair can be very attractive.

      Like

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