Anniversaries, loss and new beginnings…

I am approaching the dreaded block of time in June and July that drives home all I have lost.  June 1st would have been our 31st wedding anniversary, June 6 is the 3rd anniversary of his death and July 10th the 4th anniversary of my sister’s death.  My “cancerversary” is not until November when I will be 5 years cancer free.  My doctors tell me the clock actually started ticking after I finished treatment and I don’t get the official “cured” for some time yet.   I believe that I was cancer free when I left the OR.  All the rest was just insurance. That’s my story, anyway, and I’m sticking to it.

This year has brought more losses, not through death, but in some ways more painful and certainly personal.   It’s also brought some amazing and positive changes.  I have a new career working with the homeless community, helping them to achieve permanent, stable housing. It is the most frustrating and rewarding work I have ever done and I love every minute of it.  I still have my business, volunteer work, family and good friends to keep me busy and grounded, not to mention my animals.  Comet has survived two bouts of cancer and will be 14 soon.  He has a new pep in his step. Clover is nearly 10 and lame with bad hips.  She struggles to walk but is content laying in a sunny spot or just hanging with me. Sage, my stolen rescue kitty is still entertaining and loving.

I am approaching my formerly referred to “helliversary” with a lighter heart than I have the past few years.   I have set those who have passed, and those who have chosen to remove themselves from my life, free with love and gratitude.

I am also grateful for my readership who has seen me through cancer, highs and lows, loss and more loss and appreciated my cynical and often irreverent view on it all.   Seeing the humor in things is much easier and a lot less messy than opening a vein and blogging about it all is certainly a lot cheaper than therapy.   wellallhaveastory

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18 comments

  1. eddiesandcurrents · May 29, 2016

    What a positive attitude you have! Sending good vibes to you through the next two months. Onward!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. nosoygirl · May 29, 2016

    Been following you a while on our respective journeys. Glad you have been making lemonade!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Laura Renegar · May 29, 2016

    It’s nice to get an update on what’s happening in your life. Your new career working with the homeless to secure housing is amazing!!!! Just like you – amazing. Keep that chin and and keep moving forward through these ‘anniversaries’ and do something nice FOR YOURSELF when these dates come along and make you feel sad! You deserve it after what you have endured.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Tracey · May 29, 2016

    Love and strength to you in the upcoming weeks!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. lightscanceraction · May 29, 2016

    Great to hear from you! I always love your perspective and your writing. I can’t believe it is 3 years… that doesn’t seem possible. I’m sure time is crazy for you. I know I struggle with the “seems like yesterday” and yet “seems like 100 years”. By the way, I, too, count my cancer-versary from the day of my surgery — the day they removed the cancer would be the correct day. And, like you, I believe the chemo and radiation were insurance polices (well, that’s what I thought at the time).
    Be well. Peace.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. hopeforheather · May 29, 2016

    Sending you groovy good MOJO. July is my “month” too. Diagnosis and surgeries all in a row. I love your blog. ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Elyse · May 29, 2016

    Do what you need to do for yourself in the coming weeks. I hope you can think of your husband and your sister with more smiles than tears.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. YAPCaB · May 30, 2016

    On balance it sounds as if you’re coming to terms with some tough events in your life. That’s always such a good thing.

    It also sounds great that you have such a rewarding and cool job. You deserve it!

    Liked by 1 person

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