I am approaching the dreaded block of time in June and July that drives home all I have lost. June 1st would have been our 31st wedding anniversary, June 6 is the 3rd anniversary of his death and July 10th the 4th anniversary of my sister’s death. My “cancerversary” is not until November when I will be 5 years cancer free. My doctors tell me the clock actually started ticking after I finished treatment and I don’t get the official “cured” for some time yet. I believe that I was cancer free when I left the OR. All the rest was just insurance. That’s my story, anyway, and I’m sticking to it.
This year has brought more losses, not through death, but in some ways more painful and certainly personal. It’s also brought some amazing and positive changes. I have a new career working with the homeless community, helping them to achieve permanent, stable housing. It is the most frustrating and rewarding work I have ever done and I love every minute of it. I still have my business, volunteer work, family and good friends to keep me busy and grounded, not to mention my animals. Comet has survived two bouts of cancer and will be 14 soon. He has a new pep in his step. Clover is nearly 10 and lame with bad hips. She struggles to walk but is content laying in a sunny spot or just hanging with me. Sage, my stolen rescue kitty is still entertaining and loving.
I am approaching my formerly referred to “helliversary” with a lighter heart than I have the past few years. I have set those who have passed, and those who have chosen to remove themselves from my life, free with love and gratitude.
I am also grateful for my readership who has seen me through cancer, highs and lows, loss and more loss and appreciated my cynical and often irreverent view on it all. Seeing the humor in things is much easier and a lot less messy than opening a vein and blogging about it all is certainly a lot cheaper than therapy.