Riddle me this?

How do you fight racism when your president condones it?

How do you fight religious intolerance when your president condones it?

How do you watch families torn apart through involuntary repatriation and then sleep at night in your own safe home?

How do you raise your daughters and keep them safe in a time when boys and men are emboldened by their president to be vulgar predators?

How do you raise your sons to be good men who respect women in this day and age?

How do you help the people who are literally dying in the streets when your government denies benefits to the very people who need it the most?

How do you continue to fight cancer when your president takes away your health insurance with the slash of a pen?

How do you respect people who wanted this?

I’m not super political. I have opinions like anyone else. I’ve been happy with election results, disappointed with them, outraged, amused, disgusted, but my life has pretty much always gone on as usual regardless of the shenanigans in Washington or even here in my own state which has been led by Trump-lite for the past ?5 years (Gawd it seems longer). But I’m having a hard time with this one.  I don’t think I’ve slept 2 hours in the past 3 nights.  Maybe it’s because I see the suffering up close and personal every day. I’m well aware that there are good hearted people on both sides of the political aisle.  And hey, who doesn’t throw a few presents at the homeless and underprivileged this time of year to feel good about themselves?  Or drop off their discarded belongings that are still “good enough” for someone who has nothing, after all?  Maybe you pledge a few dollars out of your check every pay period for local charities. Good for you.  How you vote, who you put in office, carries much more weight than all of that.

I’ll get past this sick feeling. I’ll either have insurance or not after the first of the year. I’ll either continue treatment or not. I’m fortunate. I can work. I’ll add a third job if need be or sell my home. I’ve wanted to downsize anyway.   But this isn’t about me. Or you. This is about the millions of people who don’t have a home to sell, the ability to work a second or third job or the wherewith all to fight for themselves in a country that is marginalizing them a little bit more every day.  With your blessing.

Sleep tight, America

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Here’s your sign.

I decided to take a year off from my annual Pinktober “pink is a color not a cure” rant and talk politics. However, my givashit is broken again.   I was going to complain about the overabundance of political signage marring the beautiful landscape of a New England autumn, but apparently my givashit is not the only one broken.  I have counted three signs on my country road just weeks before a Presidential election. Three.  All for Trump. Not one Clinton sign. Now, before Trump fans start crowing, let me repeat. THREE signs for Trump on miles and miles of country road that is usually loaded with signs.  I started taking note of the lack of commitment in other parts of my community as well and I’m struck by how few people are proclaiming loyalty to either candidate this year.   Now, if you go by Facebook and Twitter, people have very strong opinions. Either that or we’ve all been hacked.  In person, you get a wary shrug and a haunted “we’re all fucked anyway, what does it matter?” look.  On one hand we have a rich, white, misogynistic, anti immigrant pig. On the other hand we have a rich, white, establishment politician married to a misogynistic pig.  Whoever wins is bringing so much baggage I’m not sure there is enough room at the White House for all of it.   I want to be With Her, because I am a life long Democrat.   I will probably vote for her because the alternative scares the bejeesuz out of me but I can’t say I’m ready to post signs and bumper stickers all over my property proclaiming my commitment to a Clinton/Kaine ticket.  Of course, I blame the GOP for this.  Seventeen candidates and this is the choice you give us?  Pull yourselves together. It used to be fun to beat you at the polls. Now it’s just embarrassing.  We are about to make history by electing the first woman for President and it already feels pretty anti-climatic. Disappointing really.  Hardly a fair fight at all. Wait.  You did that on purpose, didn’t you? Well played, GOP, well played…

Oh. I promised you a sign, didn’t I?

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Sorry.. couldn’t resist.  Here’s a mini rant. No cancer is fun, pretty,  whimsical or easy. Simply put, it sucks. It’s hard, painful and scary as hell.  Bedecking yourself in pink ribbons is not going to make a bit of difference in the outcome of your treatment. It will, however, make many corporations very rich.  Ask yourself how much of those dollars are going into cancer research. Think before you pink.  That is all.

Sunday musings…

I just have to ask. . do you really believe PP is selling baby parts? I can’t wrap my head around the stuff I’m seeing all over FB. Without getting into a moral discussion of abortion (not in favor) the vast majority are done in the first trimester when the fetus is the size of a kidney bean. This heavily edited “investigation” is all designed to shut down Planned Parenthood and when that happens the people who will suffer the most are low income women who will have no access to cancer screening, birth control, etc. Don’t the anti abortion folk understand that education and birth control prevent pregnancy which in turn prevents abortion?  The (what tea party?) governor of my state is trying to prevent Maine Care (our version of Medicaid) from paying for birth control at the same time spouting off about Welfare Reform.   This shit is going to give me an aneurysm and who’s going to clean that up?   Again.. not against Welfare Reform.. I know there is a lot of room for improvement ….but not paying for birth control for the very population we want to see off Welfare?   Because God knows a handful of unwanted pregnancies is all the encouragement a low income family needs to throw off the shackles of government hand out and head out into the world of low paying jobs and expensive daycare.  I hate to point fingers at one political party in particular.. but really GOP?  Seriously?

And one more thing  as long as I’m at it.. why can’t I be sad about Cecil without being accused of not caring about babies?  To people that sit around all day waiting for someone to take up a cause so they can immediately compare it to abortion and proof! that we are all going to hell in a handbasket because we dared express sorrow over the douchebaggery of some wealthy asshole with nothing better to do than kill innocent animals… maybe you should spend the time you devote to making up stories like “Liberal Democrats want to pass a law that babies can be killed up to age 4” doing some volunteer work.  Might I suggest working with young unwed mothers with no access to healthcare and birth control, abused children or animals… and leave the rhetoric to someone with two brain cells to rub together? Stepping off my soapbox now and enjoying this beautiful day. Hope you all do, too.  Soapbox

How to (re)train your brain

Are you suffering from chemo brain, age related dementia, permanent brain damage from doing this   during presidential debates?  Is your give a shit broken and you just can’t seem to learn new things?  Well, have I got a deal for you!  A FREE website to retrain your brain. Just sign up and play a few games especially selected for you  http://www.lumosity.com   And by free I mean you can play for 5 minutes but in order to unlock the full glory of your brain it’s gonna cost you.

Yeah, so I signed up last night thinking it was just another free game site (like I need another time suck) and (I kid you not) when I tried to sign in today I could not remember my user name and password. Phew! I found this site just in the nick of time apparently!  Just signed up again and after answering a bunch of questions was  given 3 games to play.  After scoring, apparently there is an 87 percent chance I can improve based on my age and awesome skills.   For you math geniuses that means there is a 13 percent chance of me forgetting my user information again or deciding my broken give a shit is not on the short list for repair. I’m good with being in the minority.