Can you NOT?

Dear Dr. Can you not tell me every damn time we meet that my hair is going to fall out? From my very first post diagnostic visit I have been reminded that I will lose my hair at every appointment, by every nurse, doctor, coordinator.  I realize this is very traumatic for most women and I doubt I will be any different when it happens to me, no matter how prepared I think am, but really? you feel the need to mention it ad nauseum?  Does the “yes I know”  “I have wigs, scarves, hats and turbans ready” or “I’m as prepared as can be” not register to you?  Why not just throw in “by the way, you have breast cancer” each time too, in case it’s escaped my thoughts for a nanosecond?  I had my first post chemo visit yesterday. I was feeling great, my numbers were good, I had plans to eat out and shop afterwards with my daughter.  At the end of the visit Dr. Doom asks what day it is again? I say Day 11. “Oh, well your hair is going to fall out in clumps now” and describes how it will feel.  I spent the rest of the day feeling like there were a million little invisible bugs crawling around my scalp ready to uproot my hair and throw down.  I envisioned myself standing in line at the bank while my hair fell out in waves and the branch manager discreetly followed me to the counter with broom and dustpan.  Last night I woke up every few hours and felt my head and pillow for signs of baldness. By morning I had myself convinced I can’t leave the house now until “it” happens.  Screw that. I’m keeping my hair just to mess with their stats.

 

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5 comments

  1. Susan · January 7, 2012

    You made me smile. My hair actually started coming out two weeks after first chemo. You are prepared and it really is not a big deal because you KNOW it is going to happen. Everyone keeps telling you so! Even my Dad kept telling me. Enough! Enjoy your hats and wigs! Hugs and smiles!

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    • mainelyhopeful · January 8, 2012

      It will be 2 weeks Tuesday. So far the only hair in my bed is on my husband’s pillow.

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  2. Kendra · January 8, 2012

    My scalp feels tingly and sometimes it feels like my hair hurts at the root. If I run my fingers through it, five or six hairs come out. I think hair loss is any day now, but it’s still pretty full. I bought two cute hats today in further preparation.

    I went to see my oncologist yesterday too, and his first comment to me was about my hair! I guess they have a script or something.

    Good post. 🙂

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    • mainelyhopeful · January 8, 2012

      Ah yes. The script. I sometimes amuse myself by trying to make them speak off script. I’ve come this [] close. 🙂

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  3. insahmity · November 23, 2012

    Aha — the script! I’m already hearing it (“You know, your hair is going to fall out”), and I haven’t even met with my oncologist yet. I think I, too, will amuse myself by trying to get them off script. Or maybe just get a flourescent pink mohawk before my hair falls out, have a little irreverent fun with it.

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