I’ve been doing things without my consent.

I do a lot of online shopping for my business so getting packages delivered is nothing new, but every day is an adventure lately when mysterious boxes arrive and I have no idea what they could be. Apparently within the last week someone decided I needed two boxes of business cards.  I do actually need them but one box usually does me for the better part of a year.   It  was probably the same someone who joined two book clubs within a weeks time and managed to order several duplicate books.  Someone has also been misplacing things around the house lately.  At least that isn’t costing me any money, but it is very annoying. I have it on good authority that chemo brain isn’t “real” because there is no treatment for it.  So.   

Nothing too terrible or dangerous has resulted from this non side effect that doesn’t exist. I continue to lose words and at lunch wanted badly to order killer bees but managed to find something on the menu.    I did try to remove my makeup with Biotene instead of witch hazel  the other day and thankfully realized it before reaching my eyes. This morning I put saline nasal spray in my eyes instead of eye drops.  So far I haven’t become lost, which anyone who knows me must consider a minor miracle. I have zero sense of direction.  Turning me loose pretty much anywhere and telling me I had to find my own way back would be hilarious albeit kind of cruel.  I’m sure my family has considered it.  Especially when I accuse them of hiding things just to mess with me.  

I don’t mean to cause  anyone worry.  As long as I am kept away from hazardous chemicals, anything hot, sharp or requiring a major credit card I should be okay.   

I should offer a disclaimer for my oncologist. She did not suggest I was making up the symptoms, just letting me know there was nothing to be done since there is no medical evidence, just a lot of anecdotal evidence of brain fog.  I’ve decided to embrace it and enjoy this time in my life when I cannot be held responsible for anything.  I promise not to take advantage.

 

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37 comments

  1. Susan · March 31, 2012

    haha then you are better than me because I take FULL advantage!!!!!!!!

    Like

  2. Tracey · March 31, 2012

    Ah the dreaded chemo brain. I blame it for everything.

    Like

    • mainelyhopeful · April 1, 2012

      I wonder how long after treatment we can continue to do that?

      Like

      • Tracey · April 2, 2012

        I plan on using that excuse FOR EVAH!!! 🙂

        Like

  3. eddiesandcurrents · March 31, 2012

    I’m with Susan! Take FULL advantage. I have 🙂

    Like

  4. rachturner · April 1, 2012

    You are not alone! I do the strangest things these days, too, and my memory is horrible. I get a lot of words mixed up when there are two spellings for the same word and sometimes I just can’t think of a word that I need to say even though I know what it is. Chemo brain is very real. Glad your experiences have not been too serious. 🙂

    Like

    • mainelyhopeful · April 1, 2012

      “You are not alone!” nope ❤

      Searching for the right word is by far the most annoying aspect of it for me. ugh

      Like

  5. sarenaperez · April 1, 2012

    Considering how many very strong drugs (includes opiates, narcotics and hypnotics) I am not surprised at all that you have been doing this. I’ve done several things I don’t really remember including calling people crying and pulling a chunk of my own tooth out. I attribute that gem to the ambien I was taking at the time. I misplace my stuff all the time. It’s one of the downers of chemo brain.

    Like

    • mainelyhopeful · April 1, 2012

      ouch!

      We should coin a new term for those phone calls. Cancer dialing? Chemo texting?

      Like

      • sarenaperez · April 1, 2012

        Very apt! “Sorry I chemo dialed you last week”. LOL!!

        Like

  6. Carina · April 1, 2012

    This post made me laugh esp bec I have done most of these things too.

    Like

  7. It's Just About The Hair! · April 1, 2012

    I can totally relate! I have Chemo Brain and Radiation Fog …
    This week I emailed a friend twice … basically the same email, twice! Then added there was no rush for her to get back to me … Seriously!
    I love it that you joined 2 Book Clubs within a week … you go girl!
    It used to be just my keys and phone that I had to keep an eye on … now it’s keys, phone, wig and breasts that are under close watch!

    Like

    • mainelyhopeful · April 1, 2012

      I only have to remember hair and eyebrows when I leave the house. I’m not sure I could be responsible for breasts too!

      Like

      • It's Just About The Hair! · April 1, 2012

        If and when I remember my eyebrows, I am always, always complimented as to how beautiful I look, “It’s just the eyebrows, I tell them, but they don’t see!” At that they generally comment that I don’t have any eyelashes …. True, I don’t … Too funny!
        Sometime eyebrows are just too much to remember!

        Like

      • mainelyhopeful · April 1, 2012

        I miss my eyelashes! My oncology nurse told me I did alopecia “beautifully” at our last visit and my eyes looked gorgeous. They were puffy and hairless. I left doubting her sincerity 😉

        Like

  8. It's Just About The Hair! · April 1, 2012

    Reblogged this on It's Just About the Hair and commented:
    I loved this post from mainelyhope.wordpress.com
    She says it all perfectly …

    Like

  9. It's Just About The Hair! · April 1, 2012

    I reblogged your post … it’s wonderful!

    Like

  10. bgillen · April 1, 2012

    I hate chemo brain. I’ve taken to making lists for everything. I used to work for 6 attorneys and never forgot anything for anyone. Now I can’t remember to turn the coffee pot off. Good thing it goes off automatically.

    Like

    • mainelyhopeful · April 1, 2012

      I make lists too. Damned if I can find them :\

      Like

      • bgillen · April 1, 2012

        How far into your journey are you? Mine started in 2006 and I’m on my third trip down the chemo trail.

        Like

      • mainelyhopeful · April 1, 2012

        I was diagnosed the first of November 2011. I’m on my second round of chemo and will do radiation and then Tamoxifen for 5 years. I hope the 3rd time is the charm for you.

        Like

  11. Tia · April 1, 2012

    I had to stop my husband when he kept putting twenty dollar bills down for $10.47, that brought up a big ‘what the heck’, lol, we laugh and try to find the humor in it because it would just send me round the bend and out the window otherwise. He said he may use it to his advantage one day, blame it on the illness the way the kids blame things on each other…..good heavens and I thought I only had two kids, lol.

    Like

  12. vickylyn28 · April 4, 2012

    Ok, it’s been 19 years since my treatment and I still have residual effects from chemo brain. Big patches of memories that are gone and my short term memory just plain sucks. I remember (or maybe my chemo brain made it up) one of my nurses at DF telling me that I would always have memory issues after going through chemo. Or maybe it had to do with the dosages that they used on me and the type of chemo that I received.

    For now, have fun and enjoy the fog and just be careful. No sharp objects are allowed, lol.

    Like

    • mainelyhopeful · April 5, 2012

      19 years! Boy is that good to read 🙂

      Like

    • Misifusa · April 5, 2012

      I’m 10 years and I consider it a ‘part of my charm’ that I have memory problems. My husband occasionally wishes that I weren’t so darn charming! 🙂 I can get lost in a paper bag ~ that gene was mutated before chemo and only got worse afterwards! But I can still hit the HOME button on my car (navigation) so I’m fine. Just know that b/c of it, you may only partially remember chemo etc!

      Like

  13. Laura Renegar · April 27, 2012

    Chemo brain IS real, no matter what anyone says. I sometimes feel like I have chemo-turrets also. (not sure of the spelling of that word)…sometimes someone in the room blurts out something inappropriate and I look around thinking “who said that?” and then I realize it was me. I totally blame chemo for that too !

    Like

  14. macarisms · May 2, 2012

    I can testify that guys get chemo brain too. i forget how much I’ve forgotten. Nice blog!

    Like

  15. Swiftbird · May 11, 2012

    I didn’t get too much chemobrain and nothing lasting (I’m 43 now, 42 when I went through chemo) — but on the 3rd-5th days after infusions, I did notice some fog roll in. I did consent to the acquisition of a very cute but neurotic puppy, which I had to find another home when I snapped to (and before my DH became too attached, poor guy).

    Like

    • mainelyhopeful · May 11, 2012

      I was thinking of a few furry acquisitions too. Thankfully cooler heads prevailed. That, and the fact that I have 2 large dogs and two lazy cats to take care of already .

      Like

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